2014 Gold Medal
As the world is watching in awe at the competing athletes in the winter Olympics, I began to think about the hard work and dedication it takes to get to the place that you can compete in the games. As I was thinking about this and looking at my Mt. Everest of laundry, I started to feel a little wishful. Why hadn’t I done something so great? Why didn’t anyone push me to achieve such things? What you really need to know here is that I don’t have an athletic bone in my body. : ) As I was contemplating another one of those mysteries of life, I had the best thought!
I compete in Motherhood Olympics! Every. Single. Day!
Moms, see if any of these sound familiar:
Mom’s Cross Country Event: This game starts with doing all laundry in the house and cleaning the house, followed by meticulous packing to ensure your family is prepared for the latest car trip. Don’t forget those snacks because children (and some spouses) get grumpy when blood sugar drops. Scoring is as follows:
Makes it to Destination without forgetting anything: Perfect 10
Forgetting the map/directions/confirmations/tickets: -2 points
Forgets the thermometer and meds in case of inevitable 3:00am vacation sickness: – 1 point
Forgets to give queasy child car sick medication before leaving: -5 points
Forgetting to charge electronics: Total lack of sanity
Forgets the kids: Disqualified
Mom’s Synchronized Schooling: This game begins after school/work. You must get dinner ready while simultaneously helping children finish their homework, bake birthday cupcakes and make the costume they forget to tell you they needed for tomorrow. Scoring as follows:
Not understand Math: -1
Burning Dinner: -1
Using Plastic bags for Costume: -2 points for embarrassing child
Buying Cupcakes from the Grocery Store: + 2 points for realizing you can’t do it all!
Perfect 10: Creating Costume, Having cupcakes ready, getting homework done without tears/screaming AND getting to bed before midnight!
Women’s Boxing: This sport is a direct competition between other Moms. It involves disputes about but is not limited to some of the following topics:
- Working Moms versus Stay-at-Home Moms
- Private schools/Public schools/Home Schools
- Breast feeding versus Bottle Feeding
- Scheduling your child versus a spontaneous lifestyle
- The Best Birthing Methods
Scoring as follows:
Smiling and nodding without input: 7
Offering an opinion but listening to others as well: 9
Bragging about your child: -4
Changing the subject: Perfect 10
And…my personal favorite:
Moms Combination Sprint and High Hurdle Event: In this event, you will begin by being in a deep sleep. You will hear the unmistakable sounds of a child beginning to uh, *wretch. You will need to sprint across the house, jumping over furniture and myriads of toys, grabbing a bucket along the way to get to the child’s bedside in time to stop the mess.
Scoring as Follows:
Perfect 10: Being there to comfort your child in sickness
As a mom, it is easy to look at the things we do each day and let them become mundane details that frustrate us. We can begin to view the children as interruptions to those tasks instead of realizing that those tasks are mostly unimportant and can wait. One of the best perspectives I have read about this is a blog post called “When Satan Steals Your Motherhood.” As my husband says, we are painting a canvas in our children and only time will show the whole, beautiful picture.
On a Facebook page I follow, one woman said she has a “DONE” list that she uses. She writes down all the things she accomplishes each day. There is no doubt that you accomplish much more than you think and the list is longer than the things you delayed.
And for that, dear Mom, you have scored a Perfect 10 AND won the Gold!!
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