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Saturday Night Runaway Mom

by Lisa Manning on October 27, 2014

Random Thoughts on a Saturday Night:

I have a secret. 

Sometimes, I want to run away.

I almost did it once 28 years ago.  I pulled into the parking lot of an airport and thought I might just use my empty credit card to take a vacation to a  warm spot the next flight was going….just buying a swimsuit and lounge on the beach.  I chickened out.  Later that week, I crashed my car into an embankment when I lost control in a snowstorm.  My empty credit card was then filled with car repair bills.  I should have run away.  ツ

It is Saturday night.  My husband is working.  The car alarm keeps going off without reason.  My daughter just announced that she invited a neighbor child (I don’t know) to spend the night tonight and her mom said it is fine.  Must call and fix that.  As I am picking up wet towels and other messes around the house, here are my completely random thoughts.  Welcome to my brain.

“I am so tired of cleaning the house.  I feel like Cinderella sometimes.  I really need to get the kids in here to pick up their own things but it is easier to do it myself than disturb my momentary peace with nagging.  Is that the car alarm again?  The neighbors are going kill us if this keeps happening.  Maybe I will just go drop the car in a parking lot.  When the police call us about the incessant alarm, I will just tell them the car was stolen. 

Hey look!  The playroom threw up Barbie’s everywhere.  How did we ever end up with that many Barbies anyway? Do they exponentially multiply while we sleep?  Why are they always naked?  I am so NOT cleaning that up. 

Crud!  I forgot about the load of laundry I put in the wash this morning.  I hope I don’t have to wash it again.  Maybe the Cinderella’s woodland animals came in and folded the 3 baskets of laundry I have ignored the last few days.  Fat chance.  They probably just came in and peed or vomited on the carpet like the other animals.  Something else to clean up.

Surely, Cinderella ended up with a maid in her castle.  And a cook.  Speaking of which, the children probably need to eat again.  They ALWAYS seem to be eating, which means I ALWAYS am cleaning the kitchen.  I really need a Chai Tea but I think I am out.  Of course I am because I just spent $200 at the grocery store and that means in the next 2 days, we will be out of at least 5 things I missed.

I should run away.  Wait. There is no one here to watch the kids.  Getting a baby-sitter that doesn’t charge a fortune, actually plays with the kids (and not their phone) and makes the kids clean up their mess is next to impossible.  I guess if I run away, I am taking them with me.  Perfect.  A runaway Mom with her 2 kids.  I should probably take hubby too.  He needs a vacation.  Now, the whole family is running away with me.  That means I have to pack all the suitcases and the van. At least the clothes are clean; even if they are wrinkled.  You know the kids are either going to fight all the way there, complain about how bored they are or need to stop to go potty every 30 minutes.  It exhausts me just to think about it.

Scratch the running away with the kids.  I can’t leave by myself either. I would miss them.  But in my dreams, I am enjoying quiet, leisurely lunches, a good book, the cleanliness of a hotel room and a hot shower without anyone screaming my name.”

“MOM!“

The silence is broken with a blood curdling scream.  Here’s a surprise.  The kids are fighting about some random nonsense.  After dispensing lecture #276 on the Biblical virtues of kindness, love and yada, yada, yada, I have an idea. 

“Anyone want to rent a movie, make popcorn for dinner and just snuggle?”  

“Me too. Let’s take 15 minutes to get our stuff cleaned up and pick a movie.”

Pajamas on.  Popcorn buttered and ready.

Girl Feet

“I wonder if anyone thinks I am a bad mom because we are eating popcorn for dinner?  Well, the kids will at least have a great memory so who cares what everyone else thinks.  My daughters are the most beautiful girls ever.  I love the way #1 laughs and #2 is the best snuggler ever.  This night is turning out great.

“Is that the car alarm I hear?” 

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